theferrett has some good things to say today on jealousy in poly relationships.

A lot of what he says is in line with things I've said in conversations on the subject, which might be why I like what he's putting out there, but it's still a good read.

A question for all you folks, prompted by conversation over coffee with my extended family on Monday and Gov. Palin's use of "Joe Six-Pack" as a generalized term for "working class" Americans:

Do you feel that you are part of the demographic referenced by this term, and do you find it an acceptable characterization?


Depending on how JSP is defined, my family members may or may not fall into the demographic. My cousins, my dad, aunt and uncle (dad's sibs) are all college educated. My mom has a graduate degree (library science) and my uncle (by marriage) has a high school education. My dad and his brother both worked in engineering and my uncle ran his own business for a while and does consulting for tech companies now. He lives in rural Idaho, just outside Couer d'Alene. My aunt, uncle and cousins live in suburban Oregon (mostly) and my uncle supported the family as an electrician.

None of them are rich by any definition, but neither are they poor. They all live decently, but had to watch their income to do the things they wanted to do in life. They got their kids through college, and supported various extra curricular activities for them. They will survive retirement, but never live opulently. They all work hard (or worked hard - since my folks are retired) and like to come home and have a beer with dinner. On the surface, they all seem to fit into the demographic I see as presented by the JSP characterization - assuming you don't filter for education level or specific career paths.

In conversation, my aunt (who has spent most of her life as a housewife to what would be a decidedly "blue-collar" husband) expressed that she finds the characterization of JSP to be offensive. She sees it as Gov. Palin's way of saying "poor white trash" with a wink and a nod to make it all ok.

My uncle (dad's brother) doesn't see it that way. I think he's ok with the characterization and saw it just as another way to sum up working America.

Thus my curiosity about whether you see yourself as falling into the demographic Gov. Palin was referring to, and how you feel about the term.

On comedic timing - childhood friends will always know the best buttons to push and despite tremendous progress with my arachnophobia over the years, the convincing suggestion of a spider crawling on me will still make me scream if properly timed. Said friends are very lucky I contract, rather than flail, when presented with this sort of suggestion while holding pliers. It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye...

On wine - port is good. Port is always good. Port solves most of life's minor problems. The rest are cured by backrubs and cuddling.

On creative genius - it doesn't matter what you intended it to be, sometimes creative projects just go sideways and become something else. The necklace I finished yesterday is not the one I was working on when I started it. Now I'm going to have to make another, and improve my resolve to "de-stash" some of my finished projects as well as my components. (Pictures will be on DevArt a little later.)

On home maintenance - before attempting to fix a leaking sprinkler/irrigation system, it's good to have instructions. Google is my friend. It's also important to identify the shut off valve for the system...before unscrewing valves and other parts. Skipping this step makes your morning shower a little redundant.

On costume design - the costumes that seem the simplest will inevitably prove to be the most expensive to implement. I had an idea for Halloween that should have been easy and instead could easily cost me $100 if I don't rethink it. Time for a Goodwill shopping trip...

Last night, Shar and I caught the opening episode of CBS's new show "Swingtown". Basic premise: Sweet young couple that got married early moves to larger home a few blocks away and meets new neighbors, who also happen to be swingers. Sex ensues.

Now, being that I have an apparent talent for taking something pithy and meaningful away from my media interaction experiences, it will probably come as no surprise that my key thought after watching the show was, "Huh...is it me, or do we only see redheads in lead roles when the show is set in the 70s? Were there more redheads in the 70s or something? What's the connection here? Why would red hair be somehow iconic of eras past?"

This thought brought to you by the wife in the Sweet Young Couple, who has lovely, nearly waist length red hair in that classically so-straight-it-might-have-been-ironed style that was popular in the 70s. She looks like an older sister to the Donna character on "That 70s Show".

I'm not convinced that either of them are natural redheads - in fact, I'm fairly certain neither of them are. There aren't that many redheads in Hollywood from what I've seen, and the ones that start that way often seem to feel the need to go blonde *cough*NicoleKidmanLindsayLohan*cough* within about 3 years of getting into Hollywood - which baffles me.

So here's my question...or maybe questions...

Am I missing something?

Are there more redheads out there than I realize and are there more redheaded lead characters (dyed or otherwise) than I realize? Are any of those leads outside of shows set in some other era? Yes - there's Jean Grey, but I'm sorry...Famke Janssen is an amazingly beautiful woman but that red they used didn't look like any natural red I've ever seen. And there was Gwyneth Paltrow's turn as a strawberry blonde Pepper Potts in "Iron Man" and Nicole Kidman's return to her something closer to her natural color in "Practical Magic" many years back. Oh...and Lindsay Lohan started out a redhead I think.

I can't come up with much else. (I suppose I could count Marg Helgenberger's character on CSI, but she was a redhead for about 3 seasons and then bleached it out to blonde...what was I saying about going blonde?)

And here's the other thing that confuses me -- I'm surrounded by men and women both who proclaim that they adore red hair. I've been told it's sexy, it's alluring, it's fascinating, it's addictive. I've met men who swear they have a thing for redheads that ranges from a generalize weakness to a full on fetish. I've met women who think it's just stunning. I've had little old ladies stop me on the street to say, "Oh my dear! Your hair is just beautiful! You know there's a lot of people who'd pay good money to get that color!!"

So, if red hair is so utterly compelling that men can't get enough of it and women will empty their bank accounts to duplicate it, why is it so absent from the media?

I know this has nothing to do with "Swingtown" -- if you really want a quick review, it wasn't bad. They managed to portray the culture almost exactly the way I would have expected, and they've set the ground work for the Triad of Conflict with Experienced Swinger Neighbors and Uptight Old Friends who will trap Sweet Young Couple in the middle and cause them conflict for about half a season. Then by the end of the first (maybe the second) season, if they get that far, Uptight Old Friends will try swinging, and then all three couples will be happily orgiastic. Can't complain too much...after all, at least it's not a wholly negative portrayal of alternate lifestyles, and it's mainstream.

However, if you have a thing for Admiral Norrington, you might want to check it out. He's the husband in Sweet Young Couple and continues to be a bit of a jack-ass. But a jack-ass who cleans up decently and doesn't have seaweed in his hair this time.

So this is a new theme for me for dreams -- a confliction between two lovers where, for very comprehensible reasons, I couldn't have them both. (In this case, a brother and sister, and there was some other issue regarding a pregnancy - not sure if it was mine or hers - and paternity that also made it "impossible" for me to be with her.)

I've gotten pretty accustomed over the last few months to dreams of being chased, or being hunted, or being trapped, and I suppose this is a new twist on an old theme in some ways, but usually where my dreams involve romance and intimacy, they're more...upbeat if you will.

This is also the second dream in as many weeks to involve some aspect of pregnancy in relation to me, which should give a couple of my f-listers a good laugh. (No, I really don't think this is my biological clock...I think this is my subconscious providing plausible context for other dream content.)

I recognize the irony of a post about health and wellbeing right on the heels of a post complaining about possibly getting sick, but improving my health has been on my mind of late.

I've seen a "what's your real age" meme/quiz going around my F-list. I don't entirely trust the accuracy of a questionnaire to tell me my actual state of health, but it did have some good questions and took into account more than just personal and family medical history, which I thought was a good thing. Besides, it's nice to watch my "actual age" drop dramatically when I factor in the absolutely amazing support structure I have in my life in the form of close friends.
( LONG line of thinking out loud about improving my health and fitness - cut to save you from the boredom )

Over the past week or two, I've come to think of my life as containing three major components: Personal, Work and Reality. ( LONG ramble about finding balance in life that's as much for my personal benefit as anything )
So here's to balancing life and not letting any one element overwhelm the others. I think I'll go move the laundry around and feed myself now, in recognition that I've spent far too long typing.

Ever have those weeks where you get nothing done? You intend to. You have the best intentions and know what needs to be done, but somehow the looming deadlines just aren't enough to focus you, and instead you find yourself checking LJ for the 20th time that morning or reading archives of a web comic and thinking, "I really should be doing ____."

This week was one of those weeks for me. Tuesday was probably inevitable, coming off the rush of BayCon and hunting for photos, researching future costumes and generally just having my head anywhere but my office.

I could blame the rest of the week on lack of sleep I suppose. Or continuing distractions. Or something. But really, I don't think the WHY is what's getting to me. ( A much longer than intended stream of consciousness about work - not looking for advice...just thinking out loud )

I'm succumbing to the trend of "year in review" posts partially because I'm a sheep, but mostly because I suspect it would be worth it on a personal level to determine that some good things did come of this crazy year.

( Topsy turvey 2006 )
And now it's over and 2007 will see me moving to a new home, with more space and a pool. I will try to get back in shape, and to hell with the risk of narcissism...I have friends who will deflate my ego when it needs it and who love me for who I am, not how I look. I will see B. and the family in March and get to Seattle at least once. I will try to not let work get to me as much as it did in 2006 - because looking at my posts, I was one STRESSED OUT woman. I will save money towards a house and hopefully be able to buy something in 2008 or early 2009.

I will do my best to not sweat the small things, to enjoy what I have and to trust that my friends will not let me kill myself.

Now back to cleaning my house and packing my belongings.

Is it Friday yet?

Seems like I always hit that point about now on Wednesday afternoon...wishing it was Friday evening (or Thursday evening depending on my plans for the week). Monday I wish it was Tuesday night (game). Wednesday I wish it was Friday...

Someday I'm afraid I'm going to wake up and find I've missed half my life because I spent it wishing it would hurry up and get to the other half. =S

I didn't post anything yesterday because the only thoughts I had were cynical and angry unto potentially offensive...and that doesn't really fit the spirit of remembrance. Fortunately, I don't need to find a way to reorganize my own disjointed and outraged thoughts, because, as is often the case, there are those people who are far more articulate than I.

( Snagged from RoseRed and Gianni - Keith Olbermann's 'How Dare You Mr. President' Speech )

Loaded up my web browser this morning with the intent to check my webcomics and get to work, but I got sidetracked by the link to the side of my home page (www.findlaw.com) for an article titled Michelle Goldberg's Study of the Rise of Christian Nationalism, and Its Adherents' Strategy to Use the Courts to Further Their Agenda which fairly screamed at me to read it.

I may need to read the book the columnist is reviewing, Kingdom Coming: The Rise of Christian Nationalism.

I don't know about you, but to my mind, the separation of church and state is NOT a "myth" and this is not a Christian nation. This is, and should remain, a secular nation with a broad spectrum of faiths and beliefs...and both Republicans and Democrats should be taking a long, hard look at the forces which are insidiously trying to change that - because frankly, while Ursula K. LeGuin is a genius writer, I don't particularly want her scifi version of Earth to become reality any more than anyone wanted 1984 or Brave New World to come to pass when they were published.

Ok - off my soapbox now and back to my job...

I love my job.

No really. And it's not that it's particularly exciting or amusing right now, or that I have some particularly interesting task brewing or story to share. I just realized that, right at this very moment, I love my job.

I understand it. I know what needs to be done and I can do it. I have information that other people need and I can get information that I need. I have some level of control and a feeling of competence. Everything here fits.

And when compared to waking up every damned morning with my first thought being, "But I don't WANT to..." about so many other things in my life right now, it feels really good to be at my desk, with a list of tasks that I understand and can manage. It feels good to have a routine when everything else feels so messed up.

I love my job.

I feel like I'm waiting for something.

I don't really know what it is ... I have a cup of tea brewing, but I doubt that's enough to create some sort of deep existential angst over the passage of time. (I admit we Leo's aren't noted for patience, but I'm fairly certain I'm not THAT bad.)

I suppose I'm waiting for something that indicates I can decide what to do with myself for the evening ... although that begs the question of why am I dependent on some outside indicator to determine whether my time is my own?

Shar's asleep - not likely to wake soon. That means he's not going to game tonight as he usually does, but there's no reason for me to hover about the house, waiting for him to wake up.

I expect Romeo to call at some point, but again, I have a cell phone (which functions, contrary to his occasional mutterings...it's just not surgically attached to me) and I don't have to be home to take his call. It's unlikely there's anything here that could be needed.

I could go out. I could pick up a book. I could log in to the new game I've been talking into giving a test run. (Well, ok, I could do that when the ad-aware scan is done. I don't think my system will want to do both at once.)

I have options. And instead, I sit here with this anxious sense of pins and needles wondering, "What the hell am I waiting for?"

The suitcase is packed, carry on is prepped, music is in the player...*deep breath* here's hoping I didn't forget anything.

This is the part of travelling that I hate - the last minute stage where it's all over but the waiting until it's time to leave and I sweat about whether I've forgotten anything, whether I'll get to the airport on time (I'm sure I will...deviant is winning HUGE brother points for carting me to the airport at the crack of dawn), whether the trip will go smoothly, etc.

I'm a very talented worrier if I haven't mentioned that before.

I have basically three to four stages I go through for any trip...( Free Falling )

Of course, once I arrive, those phases are all just...POOF...obliterated from my mind. I enjoy my time, enjoy my trip and wonder what I was ever worried about. And travelling home has almost no resemblence to leaving...a bit of the panic/worry about getting back to the airport, but otherwise, it's smooth sailing. I don't even have the frantic sense of needing to get home NOW that I used to have coming home at the end of a semester in college.

And writing about all of this really does help calm me down. I think I'm relaxed enough to sink into the television's welcome mind-numbing effect for an hour or so and then try to catch some sleep. Dawn is going to arrive far to soon - and I'll be up at least an hour before that.

I've been reading a great deal lately -- more regularly than I have in sometime as I got utterly sucked into spending hours in front of the television for a long while there. In particular, I've been on a kick of re-reading my collection of re-imagined fairy tales. Orson Scott Card's elegant Russian sleeping beauty, "Enchantment", Jane Yolen's exquisite "Briar Rose"...and most recently, Robin McKinley's second take on Beauty and the Beast titled "Rose Daughter".
( The list goes on... )

Sometimes I feel like a serious laggard when it comes to education.

No, I'm not lamenting my woeful lack of degrees or course work...because that would be masochistic, not to mention ridiculously egotistical and solipsistic of me...but rather suffering from a mild case of "wow, I so suck..." born of working with folks on foreign soil.

Everyday I trade emails and phone calls with people in far flung places like Puerto Rico, Hungary, Italy, Japan and Singapore. These conversations are universally conducted in English, and I'm occationally struck with an immense sense of ignorance when I realize that these folks have gone to the trouble to not only learn a foreign language, but to learn it so well as to be able to carry on very clear, complete and legalistically technical conversations in it.

I can barely ask where the bathroom is in a foreign tongue. I couldn't do my job in one - not if you paid me three times my current salary and threatened my life and the lives of my family. I'd never make myself understood.

And it makes me feel stupid and ignorant and a little bit lazy, and yes, a bit jealous as well...

Well, this would be one way to find out how the majority of the nation feels about same-sex marriage...

Frist Proposes Amendment to US Constitution

It unnerves me that he's concerned about the court coming into the private sphere of the home and defining it, because his concern isn't with protecting the privacy of our behavior behind closed doors - it's with defining what is and isn't illegal in that arena, and his implication, by comparison to illegal drug labs, is (to my reading at least) that by permitting sodomy to be protected by a sphere of privacy, we start on a slippery slope that will lead to all behaviors, no matter how depraved, to be legal in the home.

I'm a big proponent of freedom of behavior between adults, and honestly, I don't think that the Texas sodomy case decision is going to lead to garage drug labs or child molestation or any other currently illegal activity that potentially harms another person being protected as "private activity"...

*sigh* Protect us all from close-minded, alarmist, ignorant people in positions of political power.

So ladyofdragons has managed to once again underscore for me that I have a thing for skinny guys...YUM!!! *drooldrooldrool* (OK, so I know no sane person gets this worked up over a drawing but DAMN...tell me you wouldn't want to chew on that!)

( On being a girl )

( Random tests with silly outcomes )